Of rainbows and trials and things

(I took both of these pictures tonight...the rainbow in the eastern sky and the other in the western!)

I had a bad day yesterday. I'm not going to get into all of it on here, but it was a bad day...and a good day. I've been "offered" another job. That's very cool. it's here in Fairfield. It's kind of the ball's in my court deal, which is always a good thing. I don't know if they'll be able to afford me, though. We shall see. I think I'd really like to do it. That was Friday, I guess. Went boating Saturday. It was good times.

Then I went to a work party.

I love the people I work with. They're crazy. They're great. And did I mention they're all crazy? Well, they are. I've never really fit in, but I've always fit, if that makes sense. Last night I was kind of an outsider. They would have never have noticed it, but I certainly did. It's almost like I don't belong there anymore, which is highly possible with these job offers coming about that I've just emotionally disconnected. Who knows. All I do know is that it hurt. And the one person I knew would understand did. She's my rock. Thanks, girl.

I got home last night and found out that my landlord who told me I had to move out of my house by October 31, 2007, so he could move in then, and who has only been to the house twice since then for a day at a time, more than likely isn't going to move back into his house. Deep in the back recesses of my mind I knew that he wouldn't, but I really hoped he would so I would feel that there was some physical reason I was living in my parents basement for 8 1/2 months now. I know there's a spiritual plan and reason, but last night I wanted to hear nothing of it. I was mad. I'm still mad. I'll get over it, though.

It's kinda crazy. It's been probably a year or so since I've seen a good rainbow. The past month I've seen three double rainbows. It's beautiful. They've always come after bad storms. The main thing I've noticed about them is that they're the brightest when the clouds are the darkest. If the sky starts to clear, the rainbow disappears. It's one of God's most beautiful metaphors? analogies? Not sure which word is the right word there. The rainbow is a symbol of God's promise. I haven't really thought of it too long, but in the moments I have been thinking I've realized that it could be the only promise of God that we can physically see on a fairly regular basis. I could be totally off on that, but I'm not that worried about it. The point I'm trying to make is that it's a physical beautiful promise of God, and the only times we can see a real rainbow and not just one we've created is when the clouds are darkest and the storms nearing its end.

Honestly I've needed to see these rainbows lately. I've been so confused and torn between what I know and love and what could be what I know and love. I've also been hurting realizing that my past pain and mistakes are what is quite possibly keeping me from taking this next step. Maybe that's God's whole plan, to make me get my butt in gear and just deal with it and get it taken care of. But then again maybe His plan is to have me take that step of faith and just trust...blindly. I don't know. I'm just going to have to take it one day at a time. From where I'm at, it's the only choice I've got.

Another thing about rainbows that I've noticed lately is people. That probably doesn't make sense, but Friday night I was driving down to the cabin in Shawnee and going through Carrier Mills when the rainbow was out and bright. Just about every house had a person standing in the yard or on the porch looking up at it. I called Melissa and Chase. Just tonight with this rainbow, I got two text messages and a phone call telling me about it. Do you think people realize that they're staring smack dab in the face of God's promise? They're so drawn to it, and I'd bet that they don't even realize what it is that draws them to it. It's beauty. It's grace. It's the promise of a better day. It's hope. It's love. It's a visual reminder of God's never-ending promise and love He has for us.

I had looked up some verses Friday sometime dealing with contentment, and then Saturday night I felt the most discontent I've felt in a really long time. Funny how that works. Anyway, I'd like to share them with you. You've probably read or heard them before, but it never hurts for a refresher. Plus, this is what I'm praying for, and I'd really appreciate the prayers for the same! It's Philippians 4:11-14 first in the NIV version and then second from The Message.

NIV -- "I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty of in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength."

The Message -- " Actually, I don't have a sense of needing anything personally. I've learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I'm just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I've found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am."