If you say go...

So I need some more money. It's amazing how the stupid things you do in your past can come back to haunt you. I spent money. It made me feel better, sort of a drug, if you will. If I had not racked (is that how you spell that) up that credit card debt, moving do Denver would be feasible on the amount of money they would offer me. After crunching numbers with Melissa we found that just in a rough budget that it would take me $65 more a month to live out in Denver than it would here in Fairfield. That's losing all of my court reporting expenses, gas and the like and gaining actual "living" expenses in Denver. I don't think that's a bad increase. However, they're just not offering me enough money. The benefits package sounds great. I've never had medical, dental, or a 401k, and it all sounds so appealing.

So here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to ask for more money. Plus, by the time they need me, I might have a couple of these annoying bills paid off and be able to have some extra cash laying around to put towards living out there, you know, in the Mile High City and all.

The truth is, though, that I could be perfectly happy there, I believe, but I also believe that I could be perfectly happy here. Could I be content here? Sometimes I think yes; sometimes no. I think it's more of where I'm at financially that's making me discontented, so why would I move to a city where my financial situation would be slightly worse? Realistically, I just think that would make me more discontented, don't you think? So that's where the asking for more money comes in. I think if it will work out, it will work out that there's an incredible way for me to get out there...two years or more after I sent the resume.

I also told my boss today about the decision. She was okay with it for the most part. She knew that I had always talked about teaching, so that was kinda cool. It actually emotionally took a huge load off of my shoulders. If I didn't like and respect her so much, then I probably wouldn't have bothered, but she's pretty cool and deserves that kind of respect. So I'm hoping that was the right decision and I didn't stress her out too much. i also explained the whole probably-not-going-to-happen-unless-they-offer-more-money situation, so I think she's probably thinking that I won't be leaving for a while...lol

Anyway, Jennifer Q gave me a CD for my birthday, which was totally unexpected. She was at a church camp and liked the worship leader's music and she said when she heard her, she just thought of me and got me the CD. Not only got me the CD, though, but evidently stood in line to have it autographed by the artist, which is Amy Nobles. She's a totally awesome voice. On this CD is the song I will have sung at my wedding, whenever that comes around, but this song I'm going to give you some lines from in a minute. There's some chords that go with it and all that jazz that you should check out on the website. It's a totally great album, and I would probably recommend it to just about anyone that loves old hymns and just good worship. It's kind of reminiscent of Songs From The Loft.

So, anyway, that's my update. Hope you enjoyed it. I'll keep you updated on all the happenings! Here's If You Say Go, written by Diane Thiel and recorded on the album that I heard by Amy Nobles!

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If You say go, we will go
If You say wait, we will wait
If You say step out on the water
And they say it can't be done
We'll fix our eyes on You and we will come

Your ways are higher than our ways
And the plans that You have laid are good and true
If You call us to the fire
You will not withdraw Your hand
We'll gaze into the flames and look for You.
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