I've been busy...I'm sorry

So I just realized I hadn't posted since March 30...sorry. At least you didn't leave me any nasty posts, so I guess that means no one's been reading either. I know everyone's pretty busy with life right now. It just seems like I don't see anyone any more. I don't know if it's because of my four -- now three jobs or what, but maybe it's you. Have you ever thought about that? :)

Anyway, so I've had some time to think about this post and what I wanted it to say, and really, it's changed every day from one topic to another. I think I'm going to sort of cop out and post something I read today in a little devotional book I got in the mail, but I want to give it a little back story first. I've really been delving into my relationship with God lately. Actually, what I've really been delving into is: What's holding me back? Why do sometimes I feel so distant and sometimes I feel like I could reach out and touch Him?

To be quite honest, I can probably think of a lot of things that are holding me back, but that's also part of the problem. I tend to take control and "figure it out" myself. Not this time. I've just been asking God to reveal to me His heart and His plan for me. I know, it's pretty routine "Christian" stuff, but the longer I live, the more Type A I become. Well, now, I don't want control. Life would just be easier if I could sit back and let someone else drive the car...so that's what I'm going to do.

Secondly, I dwell on the past a lot. I've figured some stuff out and some stuff I don't think I'll ever figure out until I'm at the feet of Jesus, but here's what I do know. I can't move forward by looking behind me...ever. What I've found is that I'm uncomfortably comfortable. Not much more is expected of me. I've got a good job. I'm getting out of debt. My family expects me to marry and have kids at some point, but I'm not too worried about that...yet. I'm doing what everyone in my family has done for their whole lives. Why should I want more? Because I feel more strongly every day that God is calling me for something more, that's why. So what if no one in my family has ever paid off all of their debts. God wants something more of me. So what if I believed a lie about myself for four or five years because it was easier to believe a lie than to seek the truth and fight the enemy. Now I'm fighting. God wants something more of me. So what if everyone in my family is overweight and I'm following the same line they are. God wants something more of me...and I intend to deliver.

Anyway, as I sat down to write this post, I thought I'd quote from a devotional I have for each day of the month, but I don't think I will. What I will do, however, is quote to you the verse that it uses for the basis of the devotional, which is one of my favorite verses of all time. It's Philippians 3:12-14. "Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

Pressin' on
Julie