conversations...

"I don't know how to say this. I don't know where to stand. I don't know where to put my feet or where to put my hands. I've got them in my pockets. My fingers are freezing cold. They're wrapped around a ticket stub that's four weeks old. And I don't know how to say this."

I really don't know why I put that other than the title of this entry. Conversations is a favorite song of mine from Sara Groves. You should check it out. It's on her Conversations CD. Anyway, I wanted to share some thoughts with you on some conversations I've been having with God lately. There have been some HUGE things and changes going on in my life, but if you weren't around me every day, you'd probably never notice them. They're also things I don't talk about much because if I talk about them, I get pretty emotional because I can see the hand of God moving in my life preparing me for something. It's pretty exciting.

Looking back, it started about last September. I had a choice to make. Try to step into something that would possibly change my life or decide just to try and make it through where I was at like I had always been. Where I was at and where I had always been wasn't great. I was ready for a change, so I jumped in with both feet. That decision has made a huge impact on me. I'm working to change my life. I mean, let's face it...we all gripe about how things are going every now and then, but how many of us do something to actually get out of the spot we're in? I was raised that things just don't change. The way it is now is the way it has always been and the way that it will always be. WRONG! You and I can positively change our lives by following God's will for us!

So about these changes, I guess the thing that started it after that decision last September was that I started reading books. And not just fiction books. I started reading books by John C. Maxwell. I would recommend anything by this awesome man. These books opened my eyes to some things that I had never noticed before. The last book I read of his is called Today Matters. It's all about making the most of today because we never know if we're going to have tomorrow. After I read that book is when I made the first really visible change. I have two weeks to get my transcripts out most of the time. And most of the time I would be at the post office mailing the transcript out on the two-week date or even the day after, but most of the time on the two-week date. Which, was still within the guidelines, but just good enough and not great. With the exception of this last two weeks because of the computer crash, my transcripts have been going out within a week usually. They're usually edited and transcribed either the day of or the next day and ready to go to the proofreader! I can't tell you how much stress relief and TIME this has given me. Don't procrastinate. If it needs to be done, do it. I can't tell you how much it will bless you to have it done and out of the way!

Secondly, I read somewhere that I could add an extra 40-hour work week to my month by getting up 30 minutes earlier and going to be 30 minutes later and working about half your lunch hour. That got me to thinking. If I didn't have to be at work, I usually didn't get up till 9:30 or 10:00. I had it rough, let me tell you. I'd go to be at 12:00 or 1:00 in the morning, but still, sleeping that late was just wasting my God-given time. So now, very seldom am I up in the morning later than 8:30, and usually I'm showered and ready for the day by then. I'm so much more productive! I still stay up till 10:30 or 11:00, but I have a full and complete and fulfilled day. It's amazing.

I also gave up soda...cold turkey. I drank about 6 or 7 cans of Mt. Dew a day. Cold turkey and with killer headaches. It's not that I won't have a diet soda every now and then, but it was a crutch and not healthy for me.

This last and final one is still a work in progress (I guess all of them are). But this one I finally took the first major step last Wednesday. My house is clean with the exception of my bedroom and the spare bedroom, which will be done this week. For those of you who don't know, I am a TERRIBLE housekeeper. I was usually embarrassed if someone just happened to stop by. Now I want people to come over ALL THE TIME! Come on over! Keep me accountable...lol

So these are just some of the major -- may seem minor to you, but major to me -- things that have been changing in my life. Let me tell you why. The reason I've just felt so strongly that I needed to get these things in order is because of this conversation that I have had with God. I feel like He's been telling me for a while that He can't give me more responsibility if I can't handle what I've got right now. I won't be able to fully step into His will for me if I can't manage to get my work done, get up early, manage my money...my weight. Yeah, that's the next thing. I need your help and prayers desperately. I need accountability from you, and, yes, I'm asking for it, so bring it on.

Anyway, so here's what I keep coming back to in Matthew 25:14-30; The Parable of the Talents. "Again, it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted his property to them. To one he gave five talents of money, to another two talents, and to another one talent, each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey. The man who had received the five talents went at once and put his money to work and gained five more. So, also, the one with the two talents gained two more But the man who had received the one talent went off, dug a hole in the ground, and hid his master's money.

After a long time the master of those servants returned and settled accounts with them. The man who had received the five talents brought the other five. Master, he said, you entrusted me with five talents. See, I have gained five more.

His master replied, WELL DONE, GOOD AND FAITHFUL SERVANT! YOU HAVE BEEN FAITHFUL WITH A FEW THINGS; I WILL PUT YOU IN CHARGE OF MANY THINGS. COME AND SHARE YOUR MASTER'S HAPPINESS!

The man with the two talents also came, Master, he said, you entrusted me with two talents; see, I have gained two more.

His master replied, WELL DONE, GOOD AND FAITHFUL SERVANT! YOU HAVE BEEN FAITHFUL WITH A FEW THINGS; I WILL PUT YOU IN CHARGE OF MANY THINGS. COME AND SHARE YOUR MASTER'S HAPPINESS!

Then the man who had received the one talent came. Master, he said, I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. So I was afraid and went out and hid your talent in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.

His master replied, YOU WICKED, LAZY SERVANT. SO YOU KNEW THAT I HARVEST WHERE I HAVE NOT SOWN AND GATHER WHERE I HAVE NOT SCATTERED SEED? WELL THEN, YOU SHOULD HAVE PUT MY MONEY ON DEPOSIT WITH THE BANKERS, SO THAT WHEN I RETURNED I WOULD HAVE RECEIVED IT BACK WITH INTEREST.

TAKE THE TALENT FROM HIM AND GIVE IT TO THE ONE WHO HAS THE TEN TALENTS. **FOR EVERYONE WHO HAS WILL BE GIVEN MORE, AND HE WILL HAVE AN ABUNDANCE. WHOEVER DOES NOT HAVE, EVEN WHAT HE HAS WILL BE TAKEN FROM HIM.** And throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth."

** I can't get italics off...sorry.**
Up until now I was the third servant. I felt like I was faced with another decision. Take control of all that God has given you or lose it all. I want to leave you with another scripture that was just recently on my daily devotion. It's 1 Chronicles 4:9-10.

"Jabez was more honorable than his brothers. His mother had named him Jabez, saying, 'I gave birth to him in pain.' Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, 'Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain.' AND GOD GRANTED HIS REQUEST."

I'm not talking about getting rich. I'm not talking about being successful in the world's eyes. I'm talking about stepping into the plans that God has for you, the one thing you were created for. Are you getting a handle on the small things so He can bless you with the big things? May God bless you and enlarge your territory and keep you from harm so that you will be free from pain.